Snow Day!

…yet again.

These kids are going to be going to school until August at this rate.

“Do not like!”

Anyway, up here in the great northeast, we’re having the 9th major snowstorm of the year, and it’s already looking like predictions of a foot will be low. It’s supposed to keep going until tomorrow morning, and the drifts are already up to my knees. (I’m 6’5″, so … yeah.)

Donner Party? Table for five?

I was never one to complain about snow. It’s a normal part of winter in the north. But this year … it’s grinding me down. The temps are routinely subzero (which I don’t remember ever happening) and one snow storm after another is just making us all punchy and what my Maine friend Rick used to call “house queah.”

Our first winter in our first house we got three feet in 24 hours, and that still wasn’t as bad as this. Plus, the weather is murder on arthritis. I’m down to 6 usable fingers for typing.

With the shift back and forth between snow, sleet, and rain, we’re pretty sure we’re going to lose power here, so I’m going to sign off for the weekend unless something huge happens.

And by huge I mean “Aliens land on the White House lawn and announce their plans to enslave us all and ship us off to work in their Venusian cheese mines.”

 

Be safe, be well, pray, read, play. Spring always follows winter.

 

Jack Lumber [App o the Mornin’]

Jack Lumber hates trees, and he has a good reason: trees killed his beloved granny. Now, Jack has sworn everlasting vengeance against all forms of lumber. He has an axe, he has a mission, and he has a woodchip on his shoulder.

Jack’s tale of vengeance forms the extremely silly connective tissue for this funny, polished riff on the slicing game genre pioneered by Fruit Ninja. In fact, there’s far more to Jack Lumber (PC/Mac: about $8; iOS/Android: $4) than just dexterous slicing. The visuals are terrific, with a sharp cartoon quality and some extremely funny touches. (Fruit Ninja was fun, but nobody would ever accuse it of being funny.)

For example, there is a completely random animal-collecting element which allows you to stack up critters in your log cabin as you encounter them in the game itself. Why is it there? Who knows. They don’t serve any purpose other than a bit of comic relief in between levels. It’s like asking why someone randomly shouts “PLAID” when you make a cut. Why? Because it’s funny.

Each level begins with logs of various shapes and sizes tossed in the air. When you touch the screen, time slows down. You need to trace a single line through the ends of each log, cutting them crosswise. When you lift your finger, the cuts execute all at once. If you missed a log, traced over a side rather than an end, hit an animal, or didn’t cut through every single endpoint, you’re penalized. Enough penalties and you fail the level.

Sometimes you need to pass through the same log multiple times to use it, or break bottles of syrup (purchased back at your cabin) in order to slow down time. There’s a lot less luck involved than in most slicing games. You really need to examine the screen quickly and find the fastest and most effective way through each log. This makes the game more like a rapid maze, since if you take a wrong “turn” with your finger, you’ll mess up.

Good humor, strong production values, and a dexterity element that also requires quick thinking: Jack Lumber is a winner all the way through.